MICKEY MOUSE MIRACLE
BY EDGARDO PEÑA COLORADO
My thought of escape wasn’t reality, it wasn’t what I had planned for, but it had work in a weird way. New York, San Francisco or Miami seemed like better candidates, but who would have known that a cartoon would be my savior, my burning bush.
I had gotten permission from the shrink and my mother to leave the nest and embark on a new journey, without telling them of my real intentions. It is going to be Valentines Day, and once more cupid has missed the mark. I am starting to believe that of all the scams I’ve ever heard, love is the most absurd. It has been eighteen years and how pathetic is it to think of me: no relationship, no kiss and still a virgin at 18.
This escape seemed like the perfect escape, and here I am lying down on my smaller than a twin bed, with my feet over the edge, staring blankly at the damn retro popcorn ceiling of an apartment building meanwhile my roommate snores the night away. Well, I think this is the moment where all those years of Nun ruler-smacked ass and rosary shoved down my throat in Catholic school have to kick in: “God, please help me in this urgent matter. I know I’m pathetically desperate for love, but if what they say it’s true, I would also like a piece of happiness. If you find it that my being gay is okay with You, well then give me a date for the most wretched of all days, or so I see, Valentines Day. If not, I’ll take it that you have really condemned us all and I will continue to live in misery. Padre nuestro que estas en el cielo…’’
No heavenly response yet. The day seems to be moving slower than usual and I finally got my work-break. Sitting in the break room of a Disney World Park makes you lose all the fantasy you are supposed to portray. Specially when the furniture has bits ripped and it smells of cigarette. And here comes one of the most clichéd characters of this whole place heading my way, probably making me move from the only comfortable space in this damn lumpy sofa just because he has a big ass, ugh! He is suddenly mumbling something to me,
which I cannot understand because of the big fat head that’s covering he’s mouth.
-“I can’t understand you. Maybe if You would take off your head, I’d be able to.”
Head comes off and I can suddenly see the light portrayed by two heavenly blue eyes and two thin rose-colored lips which seemed to say: “Hey, I was just trying to ask you what are your plans later today?”
-“Probably gonna watch some TV.”- I miserably answered.
-“Are you gay?”- he said.
-“No, I’m bi.”- I’m sorry Father, for I have sinned.
-“Oh ok. Would you like go out tonight?”- the beautiful rat said.
-“Ok”- I replied.
-“Great. I’ll talk to you later then, I have to go back to work, my break is over. Back to forging autographs for the Big Boss.”
The boss’ impersonator just asked me out! The lumpy sofa is starting to feel so fluffy and soft, feels like I’m sitting on clouds. I look upon the clock and I realize that I am so late, my break finished 5 minutes ago! No matter, I have a date with the Boss.
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